Steve Pavlina banned me from his forum!! :(
So last night i asked a simple question on Steve Pavlina’s forum. I think hes a nice guy and everything and smart. But it just seems like he never blogs about any faults of his own. It makes me feel inadequate. In retrospect this was a dumb idea to ask why Steve Pavlina seems to think that he is a god. Especially on his own forum.
In my question I did repeatedly say that I am a fan of his and meant no hard feelings by this. However, he blocked me from his forum! Just offering some constructive criticism! I really did not think that I was rude at all. Maybe I made the title of the thread too offensive. It was merely to attract people to comment. The text in the thread was not as offensive as the title. And I really think some good discussion came out of it.
However, he is obviously a much more successful blogger than me. So no hard feelings Steve. Love your blog.I actually doubt that he regulates his own forum even. He probably has someone else do it. Maybe not though.
I really liked posting on there too. I am considering making a new account but I am not sure if that is against the rules?
But anyway, here is a link to his forum. Its a cool place with some awesome people. Sadly, it appears I will no longer be on there…
http://www.stevepavlina.com/forums/
and here is the thread that got me banned:
Later Revision:
Ok, this whole thing is getting out of proportion. I didn’t even think that anyone would read this blog post. This blog gets pretty much no hits anyway. It’s kind of just for fun.
But yes, Steve is right and it was rude. This whole thing just kind of made me look dumb. Guess the old adage holds true: if you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say it at all. Especially on their own website. Then get upset when they get mad at you for criticizing them on their own website.
God maybe I should just scrap this whole post.
[...] unsympathetic and, to put it bluntly, rather annoying. The OP has made a blog post about it too: Steve Pavlina banned me from his forum!! |APrettyLife I know I'll probably be blocked for saying all that, but I do think of it as unfair. I've dealt [...]
I’ve posted my opinion on the case in the topic.
To be honest, I’d suggest that you just make a new user. It’d be a shame not having you on the forum.
Hope it gets sorted out soon
Mika x
As mentioned in that same forum thread, I didn’t ban you, nor did I ask someone else to do it on my behalf. That was done by one of the moderators in accordance with the forum rules. The banning didn’t surprise me under the circumstances, however.
Almost always when a new member joins our forums with little or no history of contributing and then posts a public criticism right off the bat as you did (directed at any forum member, not just me), the mods will assume the worst and conclude that the new member is just there to troll and/or screw around with people, thereby degrading the quality of the community. So a quick ban normally makes sense in that case.
We don’t allow trolling in the forums because it’s a place where people come to discuss sensitive topics like suicide, divorce, career changes, etc. For that reason I think it’s important that we maintain a positive and supportive atmosphere. Trolling kills that atmosphere, so anything that looks like trolling gets pruned fairly quickly.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a fan or not. The rules are the same for everyone, but we go particularly hard on new members who demonstrate a non-contributing stance right off the bat. That’s because for this community to work, there needs to be a good balance of giving and receiving. People who show up just to criticize one or more members in public aren’t really helping.
If you want to criticize someone that you’re a fan of, then drop them a private message to voice your concerns. To start a public discussion about it right in front of them is simply rude and obnoxious. Would you do something like that in a face-to-face conversation, by starting a group discussion about someone’s perceived character flaws right in front of the person? I would hope not.
For a more thorough explanation of how we manage our forums, see this blog post:
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2009/09/free-speech-in-online-communities-the-delusion-of-entitlement/
Hope this helps.
Steve doesn’t actively moderate the forums. He has a team of moderators (volunteers) do that. Here’s the list: http://www.stevepavlina.com/forums/showgroups.php
What reason was given for your ban?
Steve BTW clearly states he doesn’t know why you were banned: http://www.stevepavlina.com/forums/steve-pavlina/43816-steve-pavlina-seems-think-really-highly-himself-3.html#post531134
Basically, think of the forum like Steve’s house. If you went into Steve’s house and suggested he was full of himself, the appropriate response might be to kick you out. I would certainly do that if someone came into my house and started in with me.
But on the other hand, it is clear you’re a fan of Steve’s work and I don’t think you intended to be offensive. Your opinion could have been expressed in a better way. I get that. And I think the moderators could understand that too if you still wanted to be a part of the community.
Creating a new account *is* against the “rules”, but you wouldn’t be the first to do it successfully.
In response to your revision of your post, I’d say don’t scrap it. This is a personal development blog for yourself and other young teenage girls, no? And this is a problem that you’ve faced, and now overcomed, you’ve learnt from your mistakes, I’d say keep this topic. Even if it does make you feel bad for saying things like that about Steve ^_~
Keep It Up!
On the Pavlina boards, any negative comment about Steve, or personal development, usually leads to deletion. They justify it by calling it trolling, but come on, you can call anything trolling and you do. Basically the Pavlina thing is a “brand” and acts as a self marketing device to generate income for Steve Pavlina. Bottom line. It’s a way for one man to make money. And this man is an egomaniac. But that’s okay, it’s fun to watch egomaniacs spin and fall.
This man has a website dedicated to himself. I mean…. come on. Does that not scream egomaniac? He has a community forum where people can come and discuss……him. Does that not scream egomaniac? He tells people how to live their lives!
Any negative word about Steve in Steve community message board results in the poster being banner. Any negative word about Personal Development, especially if that negative word has to do with it being a scam, the poster is banned and the thread deleted. It happens all the time.
I posted a link detailing somebody else’s view on Steve’s marriage with Erin ending. It was immediately erased. There were no swears or insults, it wasn’t offensive and was most definitely apart of the thread’s topic that was being discussed. But it was deleted because it portrayed the “golden calf” of that message board in a negative light.
That negative light was that Steve left his wife Erin once his internet-celebrity status grew, to pursue sexual encounters with the many random women he encounters in his line of work and justified the whole action as living consciously. The article suggested that it may be due to Erin’s larger size, the women who frequency Steve’s site and view him as a guru and feel they need him, and Steve’s own sexual urges that he personally cannot control. It also says that Steve posted something somewhere telling Erin that if she is hurt by this that is a good thing, because it will help her grow consciously with him. So basically what he did is okay and she should thank him.
Oh and they have two kids together also…….
Living consciously, to me, is being aware of not just how you feel but how all around you feel. If Erin is to grow consciously from this it would result in her realizing she doesn’t need to be treated like that, and separating herself and the kids completely from Steve. It’d be a good wake up call for him too, I mean if he got it, that you can’t treat people like that just because you’ve got a boner.
But that will never be discussed on his website. Because apparently to Steve, living consciously isn’t about admitting when you’ve done something wrong. To Steve, living consciously and personal development has nothing to do with acknowledging when your actions hurt somebody else and learning from that to become a better person. No, personal development to Steve is about his own ego and making sure it’s always correct and never wrong. And his ego is powerless without the visitors of his website. And his pockets are empty without the visitors of his website.
So he’s always got to be Mr. Perfect.
That’s the truth. He doesn’t care about his visitors, except that he needs them to care about him, to think he’s great, and to keep the money flowing. Anything less than that is considered trolling.
Watch him take advantage of mindless followers who blindly defend him.
Look at the “Erotic Proposals” he has on hIs contaCt page, so that the women whO were deluded into believing they need him for a better life can directly contact Him with sexual proposals…making it that much easier to take advantage of both them and his phony internet self-help guru celebrity.
When one’s image falls apart, watch them scramble to hold the pieces together.
Me me me…wahhhh! And I’m not talking about Steve…
JFC, now I know why I take you in vain.
I’m not going to say anymore after this, but do you really think Steve Pavlina cares if you better your life?
Do you really think Steve Pavlina cares at all if any of the people who frequent his site better their lives?
Why would he care about tons of random strangers so much but leave his wife and children so easily just for some random vagina action?
Steve Pavlina is a brand. Steve Pavlina cares is you frequent Steve Pavlina’s site to the extent that if you are not, then you aren’t making money for him. Steve Pavlina needs you to go to his website and give him money.
Self Help Gurus prey on weak people. They make the weak feel like they need Steve Pavlina.
Women idolize him.
Men follow him.
People blindly listen to and defend him.
Steve Pavlina takes advantage of those women so he can sleep with them.
That’s why he left his wife.
He called it “conscious living”.
Told his wife Erin, that if she gets hurt, it’s okay because it will help her grow consciously.
Doesn’t help that Erin is a little bit over weight.
Steve now flaunts his new affairs all over his website and Erin’s face.
That’s okay. By leaving her due to her unattractive body size so that he can go f*ck the random brainwashed women who idolize an idea of Steve Pavlina, he is creating space for her to consciously grow. See Steve Pavlina is a good guy.
Steve Pavlina wouldn’t leave his wife because he wasn’t attracted to her, just because he is too weak to control his sexual urges. NO! When Steve Pavlina does it, it’s called conscious living, even though he is being quite UN-conscious of how his actions are effecting ERIN and his two young children.
But you people need to believe he’s a good guy. He needs you to believe that, so he can continue to sell his brand to mindless morons who don’t think for themselves.
Hmm that’s interesting….apparently Erin is thinking about trying a raw diet………………I wonder why she is thinking about that? It couldn’t have anything to do with the fact that her husband and father to her children just left her to stick his d*ck in ANYTHING ELSE that moves.
Destroying a family and a marriage, and remaining ignorant to the fact that you hurt people= CONSCIOUS LIVING according to Steve Pavlina.
It’s too bad that he doesn’t preach honesty, and owning up to the wrong things we may have done.
Why would anybody listen to this fucking jackass? Seriously?
His ego is huge. He’s not better than anybody he just has a website and appears to think he’s better than everybody.
HEY JACKASS, YOU ARE NOT GOD. YOU STILL HURT ALOT OF PEOPLE, BUT AS LONG AS YOU THINK YOUR A GURU YOU’LL NEVER REALIZE IT.
Well, if you were permanently banned, I did not see that you did anything to warrant it. My favorite forum moderation policy (on VeganForum.com) is, rather than banning someone, to de-activate their account and to agree to re-activate it only if they show they understand why their account was de-activated and that they understand forum policy. And like a three strikes and you’re out sort of thing.
I agree with Steve that it is obnoxious to go and post about someone’s character like that, but it is a personal development forum after all, so I think people should be given second chances as long as they show potential. I don’t agree with your criticisms of Steve… he is not an egomaniac. I think he has a bit of a forceful personality sometimes, but even if it is a problem at times, I think it is mostly his strength. I am a really timid person a lot of the time, so even though in the past I have felt embarrassed being talked to by forceful people, they often make great teachers because they’re not afraid to point out yours and their faults when they actually do see them. Steve actually reminds me of my Aikido instructor. I love him, but class used to frustrate me a lot before I got used to him.
Oh, and pointing out someone’s faults and calling them egomaniacs are not necessarily the same thing!
I posted quickly and had to run somewhere, so I don’t know if my messages went through. I want to also say, though, that it’s not really about being in Steve’s house or not. You wouldn’t want someone to post a thread asking what others think about your character, would you? You wouldn’t want people to gather and have a public discussion over whether or not you are arrogant, would you? If you started that thread about yourself, it would be one thing… you could choose how public you want to be. But I don’t think you’d want that to be under someone else’s control.
Okies guys, let’s slow things down a little here, huh? You’ve begun spamming a young lady’s blog post, it isn’t required. She only posted her thought, that she didn’t think she should have been blocked, she hasn’t accused Steve Pavila of anything.
Whether or not what you say is true, I don’t really care. Visiting his site isn’t going to subtract money from my pocket. Nor is it subtracting my time, there are MANY helpful people on that site. So whether or not Steve was trying to help people, it doesn’t matter, because his site is doing a lot of good for a lot of people.
So if women want ot have sex with him, that’s their choice. Now I’m being hypocritical about the entire thing by commenting myself, sorry guys D:
Okies, let’s stop, sorry Natashashashasha ^_^
OK, just to clear some things up. Firstly, Natasha, don’t scrap this post. I think you’re onto something here, and it has the ability to be a very popular page and generate traffic for your blog!
Secondly I’d like to reiterate what both last part and JFC said regarding Steve – he is a con artist, pure and simple. He’s also, however, very afraid. People who aren’t afraid don’t feel the need to censor their forums to only allow positive and supportive comments to be displayed.
His website is his income, and his visitors to the forums and blog provide that income. The only reason he banned you was to protect his image, as any negativity causing a loss in traffic will cause a loss of money for himself.
Think about it. Why are three people suddenly bad mouthing him on your forum but not on his? Because he won’t let them. He won’t let anyone say anything that could remotely construed as negative appear on his site as it could dent his business.
Finally, I would ask everyone to read his latest blog post along with the forum thread concerning it. What is he doing? Plugging a book, recommending that people buy it. Why? Because he gets money if you do!
Think people, just think!
Good luck!
THANK YOU!
I wish more people would understand this. Steve does this to make money. He convinces people they need him. Bottom line. He is friends with Joe Vitale, does that say enough?
It’s a scam everybody! A big scam.
Steve is afraid. Very afraid.
Unconquered, you are smarter than this crap. Get with it and realize Stevie P is a hack and taking advantage of you. Don’t praise him.
The last years i sometimes visited steve’s website, but he just seems to reveal himself more openly as the narcisist conartist he is. I agree that the above poster was banned for nothing, she did not do a harsh thing and on other forum this would have been dealt with differently.
I do visit his forum only to see the manic change he makes. In the grandiosity he feels he reveals his real self. And it ain’t so beautifull. He is so busy with himself, speaks so litte about his children and his ex-wife (thank god for he she left him). After the divorce he even lives in the biggest house with like 7 rooms and his wife and children live in the smallest house. Can you imagine? What man would do that to his wife and children?
It’s all about Steve. It’s only about Steve. Steve is the center of all this ‘concious living’ on planet Steve. That is not concious living. It is living like an *** who cares only about himself.
Spamming his site with stupid casual meetings with brainwashed followers into erotics. How much pain do you want to inflict on your family? How low will you go?
I hope this ego thing was a big reaction on the popularity of his blog, but i rather think of it as a personality disorder. Like Sam Vadkin, but then in disguise.
This guy is a joke!, he is so full of himself it’s not even funny it’s actually kinda sad.
I tried to write a reply earlier and I’m assuming it didn’t send properly. The one thing that has astounded me most is the absolute naivety of all the steve-can-do-no-wrong lapdogs that circle him as if he is some kind of messiah. It doesn’t take more than a split second of intelligent thought to conclude that the only person Steve Pavlina thinks about is Steve Pavlina.
I agree Anna with regards to his family, he hasn’t mentioned them at all this entire year, it’s as if his children don’t exist. Then again he’s seemingly much too busy with his kooky (and given the circumstances, rather disgusting) dom/sub excursions of late that I almost forgot he even had children in the first place.
The whole thing is beginning to look like some kind of sick cultish religion in my opinion.
Great success quotes