So this morning I woke up late. Very late. It was around 7:50 A.M. when I sprung out of bed. I ran to school and actually managed to get there on time. I did not look the best admittedly, but I was there. In my rush I forgot to fill up my coffee mug or grab the bottle of caffiene pills that I have for emergencies when I cannot drink my morning coffee. I figured that I would maybe be tired and get a headache but it would not be a huge deal. After all, I only go to school until 1:30 anyway. I can wait until then right?

No I cannot. It started around 8:30. A slow pounding grew in my head. It grew and grew until i had a head splitting migraine. I was also so incredibly tired, I could barely stay awake. My hands started shaking and I became very, very irrritable. All I could think about was getting some kind of caffeine.

I tried to sneak into the teacher’s lounge and use the coffee or pop machine, but I was caught and scolded. I finally just told the office that I had a migraine and needed to go home to get some painkillers during lunch. When I got home I drank about a gallon of coffee. 

As I sat there finally getting some of that sweet nectar coursing thorough my veins, I realized I am really addicted to caffeine. I didn’t even realize. I don’t really like having any substance having such power over me, but I love coffee and caffeine so much. I don’t smoke or drink excessively.Why can’t I have one little vice? Right? So I am considering giving up coffee. Although it will be very,very, hard for me. Especially since tea is so gross.

1. Homework

2. Laundry

3. Update my Blog

4. Clean my Room

5. Stop Eating the Twinkie

6.Work  out

Ok, yeah that pretty much covers it. Now that is kind of alot of responsibilities that I have clearly put off. For some reason this week, I have had no motivation to do anything at all. I haven’t even wanted to get out of bed in the morning. Just going about my day took more effort than doing all the things above did about a month ago.

So why is that?

Here is my answer: I need to stop being such a baby and feeling sorry for myself.

Sure, I have had a pretty crappy week. I lost all my friends and am currently being harrassed for five hours a day. I have to work at a crappy job where scenile old people yell at me that their coffee is cold. My car broke down.Not a single boy asked me to prom yet. Oh and Steve Pavlina banned me from his forum . Not that I will get into that.

But I have been going around all week feeling sorry for myself. I don’t think I have genuinely smiled all week. Being negative is not helping me at all and only feels good in the short term. I am not changing a thing. Instead of being sullen because some girls are being mean to me, I could have been well on the way of making a few new friends.

I refuse to be one of those losers that blame everyone and everything else for their problem. I am a huge believer that your attitude is directly proportionate to your own happiness. I believe it, but do not always live it. So this weekend I am working on my outlook and am going to be back to my old peppy self! Oh and I dyed my hair blonde. For no particular reason. But maybe it will help. Blondes are supposed to have more fun right?

In my question I did repeatedly say that I am a fan of his and meant no hard feelings by this. However, he blocked me from his forum! Just offering some constructive criticism! I really did not think that I was rude at all. Maybe I made the title of the thread too offensive. It was merely to attract people to comment. The text in the thread was not as offensive as the title. And I really think some good discussion came out of it.

However, he is obviously a much more successful blogger than me. So no hard feelings Steve. Love your blog.I actually doubt that he regulates his own forum even. He probably has someone else do it. Maybe not though.

I really liked posting on there too. I am considering making a new account but I am not sure if that is against the rules?

But anyway, here is a link to his forum. Its a cool place with some awesome people. Sadly, it appears I will no longer be on there…

http://www.stevepavlina.com/forums/

and here is the thread that got me banned:

http://stevepavlina.com/forums/steve-pavlina/43816-steve-pavlina-seems-think-really-highly-himself.html

Later Revision:

Ok, this whole thing is getting out of proportion. I didn’t even think that anyone would read this blog post. This blog gets pretty much no hits anyway. It’s kind of just for fun.

But yes, Steve is right and it was rude. This whole thing just kind of made me look dumb. Guess the old adage holds true: if you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say it at all. Especially on their own website. Then get upset when they get mad at you for criticizing them on their own website.

God maybe I should just scrap this whole post.

So tonight when it was time for me to do my regular workout, I found myself wanting to skip it. I told myself that I will workout tomorrow and that I am not even fat and I don’t really need to work out. As I told myself this and thought about how my goal of fitness has been doing lately and felt sheer horror. I am really getting off track with this!!

It’s so hard to stick with long term goals. It seems really hard especially if you are trying to achieve multiple goals at once. My currrent goals are: weigh 115 pounds, update this blog regularily, save 4,000 dollars by july, and get at least B’s in all my classes. Currently I am doing good with all my goals except  Save $4,000 and weigh 115 pounds. To be honest I don’t really need to lose weight since I am 120 pounds and 5′4. But I want to .

So I made a checklist for dormant goals that you may have and how to revive them:

1. Do I really want this goal?

Is it worth the time and effort or is it better put towards other pursuits that will enrich your life alot more? An example may be my goal to lose 5 pounds. It’s really only because I want to look good for summer. I am considering dropping it because I have other goals relating to school and other commitments. The easiest way to get something done is to cut it out.

2. Am I willing to sacrifice to achieve this goal?

Anything you want to do requires sacrafice.If I want to save money that means that I will not be able to buy as many cute shoes or do other fun stuff that requires money. Sometimes it seems like people do not think about stuff like this when they set goals.

When I set a goal I think about what I will have to give up to achieve this and weigh out my options. If the goal does not seem worth the sacrafice, then I cut it out.

3. Do you have a plan?

This is an incredibly simple part of setting a goal but it doesn’t seem like enough people do this. They may set a general plan like ‘work out everyday’. However they don’t mention things like how long they are working out, what exercises they are going to do, where they are going to work out, and at what time of day. This seems really obvious but if you look over a goal you may have you will find that you may not have covered all the bases that you need to to achieve something.

4. Do I have any holes in my bucket?

When I set goals I like to use a bucket as a metaphor. When you fill up a bucket with water you want all the water that goes in to stay in. If you have holes in your bucket, it is frustrating because any water you put in will eventually flow out.

With goals you want all the effort that you put in to stay in with the goal. Habits or behaviors that you have may be undoing some of the work that you put in to your goal. These are the holes in your bucket.

I will use my fitness goal as an example again because it is a goal that I have let go in the past few weeks. I try to work out at least every other day.  I really do well with this when I don’t work that night at my part time job. However, when I do work I am usually to tired when I get home or are feeling too lazy. I realize now that this is a huge hole in my bucket because I am skipping workouts.I looked over my plan and have decided on days that I work I will workout before I go to work instead of surfing the internet.

It is so easy to get off track with goals, but it is important to realize that you need to keep plugging away, even if you have really messed up recently. Quitting will do you no good and will not make you feel good about yourself at all. I will keep you all updated on how I am doing with my goals.

And by the way, I made myself workout tonight:)

So Mikahcho posted on this blog about smiling being a new way to deal with his depression. I am not sure if he meant actual depression like the disease or if he meant general depression. But I thought I would post about depression the mental illness because its something that affects  me everyday.

So depression is something that I have struggled with pretty much all my life. It runs in my family and I have been taking meds for it for half my life. It is such a hard disease to have because no one really acknowledges that it is a real disease. They just say things like, ‘well why are you depressed?’ or look really uncomfortable. It is really hard for people who have never experienced it to relate, but I think that people could respond alot better.

I have chronic depression and I honestly don’t think that I will ever be able to not be on medication. For me it is a chemical imbalance and is really bad in the winter. I would love to be able to not have crappy days where I just want to stay in bed or be unable to smile at anything.

Mental illnesses have so much stigma attached to them and it’s really difficult. For me, medication has made a world of difference. I feel like a totally different person in a good way. Not different exactly. But just happier.

Here are a few things that people should know about depression;

1. People with depression are not crazy!

2. If you are experiencing depression get help

3. If someone you know tells you about a mental illness they have, don’t act strange. It takes alot of guts to tell people that.

4. Don’t take someone else’s ADD or depression meds. I get people that ask me all the time.

If someone reading this is feeling depressed or anything here are some resources:

http://www.tandemjourney.org/Page.asp?NavID=86

http://www.thekeltyfoundation.org/depression-resources.htm

I won’t go into what I said but it was totally out of line even though it was true. Even though she was not being a good friend I should never had said that. Someone told her about what I said and now she is very angry at me. None of my other friends will talk to me and I ate lunch alone today. I apologized and there is really nothing else I can do. So here is what I learned about this situation:

1. There is a reason that I don’t drink often

Drinking makes me say stupid things. Usually mean. And the hangover is not worth it.

2. If I have a problem with someone I should tell them about it

I never told her how she was bothering me and it came out when I was drinking. If I had said something to her I might not have said those things and spared her feelings.

3. High School is a fickle place

I was a little surprised that no one would talk to me. I know it will pass but it kind of sucks.

4. I am kind of glad that I am not friends with the girl that I insulted anymore

I feel alot lighter and more free because I am not weighed down by this toxic friendship. I really wish that I had ended it on better terms though.

5. I am not perfect

I really messed up with this. I sometimes tend to overlook my faults. It is humbling.

Sam if you are reading this. Which I highly doubt you are because you don’t even know I have this blog….I am sorry.

I am about to graduate from this fabulous institution that I have been held captive  for four long years in a few months, and I am really excited. I am counting down the days until I am freed from the chains of High School. However, alot of my friends are not similarily elated. They seem frozen with fear over what is to come. They have about ten different things they want to do with their life and torture themselves endlessly about which path to take. This really frustrates me beacause I don’t understand why they don’t just choose something and do it. If it doesn’t work out you can always change paths.

They debate for weeks on end what they are going to do next year, one day they are going to college, one day they are taking a year off, one day they are moving to a new city. They are totally lost. The reason why this bothers me is because I am the kind of person where I pick something and do it. If it doesn’t work out, I move on.

I really don’t think it matters what you do as long as you just do something. These people seem to spend way too much time deciding what they are going to do with their life, and no time actually doing it. For example, my mother has been planning to redecorate this room in our house for around two years. She buys magazines for ideas, she looks online, she even went as far as to buy decorations for the room and paint. But she can’t quite commit to anything. I think this is ridiculous. With all the work and debating she’s  done she could have decorated and redecorated this room three times.

I am a big believer in the 60% rule. If you are 60% sure that you want to do something, then do it.

An example is starting this site for me. I was sitting around one day looking at different blogs and reading them. And I thought maybe I should start one! I researched it a bit and picked a niche. (I have no idea if this blog will be ’successful’ but you never really know right?) I wasn’t entirely sure that I wanted to start a blog. I didn’t know if I would like it and it is somewhat challenging to set one up if you have never done it before.  But i sat there and measured up my desire 80% sure I wanted my own site.

And I just did it.

I didn’t think procrastinate, I didn’t talk myself out of it, I didn’t quit halfway through starting this blog. And so far I am really enjoying having this site. It’s kind of a side project for me but I love writing and am enjoying everything so far.

I actaully intended this site to be about makeup which is another big hobby of mine, but changed my mind halfway through. Now I am no so sure about my domain name. I am also regretting making this ‘Personal Development for Teenage Girls’ I think for teens in general would have been better. But what teen boy would read a blog called aprettylife.com? Yeah I am seriously considering changing the url.

But anyway the point of this post was to say that if you want to do something but aren’t 100% sure, just do it anyway! I have always found that I regret the things I didn’t do much more than the things that I did. (With the exception of a few choice incidents )

Reasons To Smile More:

Walking around school today I was looking and not understanding why everyone was being such a grouch. When people would see other people they knew around campus, they would just merely nod or mutter ‘Hi’. This is a huge mistake! Smiling is one of the easiest ways to improve your day and people’s around you. I have been working on smiling more in recent months and I think that everyone else should too.

• Health Benefits

Smiling has numerous health benefits.It reduces stress, improves your immune system,lowers blood pressure,releases endorphins,and changes your mood. Just the act of smiling, even if you are alone in your room will make you feel better about life. It’s incredible how smiling can make such a difference in your health. It’s the power of the mind and your outlook. When your mood improves and you feel more optimistic, your body follows suit.  

• New Friends

How many times have you been faced with a group of intimidating people or people you don’t know ? The easiest way to fit in with them and make them like you is to smile.  When you smile at someone it shows that you are excited and happy to see them. People love people that like them. They also love happy people because they get good vibes from happy  people.  

• It makes you look successful

Smiling makes you look more confident and more sure of yourself. Successful people are generally happy and confident so people will assume that you are successful if you are always smiling. People want to be around successful people because they also want to be successful. 

• Makes You More Attractive

Everyone looks prettier when they are smiling. It makes you look full of youth and makes your eyes sparkle.

• When You Smile, Others Smile

When you smile at someone, the polite thing to do is to smile back. When they smile back at you they will get all the mood enhancing effects of smiling and associate that with you.

How To Have A Great Smile:

It isn’t enough to simply move your mouth upwards into a smile. People can tell a fake smile instantly and can make you look insincere and like you are lying. Here are the fundamentals of a great smile that people will warm up to instantly.

• Crinkley Eyes

The number one way to make your smile look sincere and attractive is to put your eyes into it. They are almost as important as your mouth when you are smiling. Make sure to crinkle your eyes when you smile.

• Smile With Teeth

Show your teeth when you smile. People perceive a smile with teeth to be more genuine. If you are uncomfortable with your teeth then use your judgement if you should smile with your teeth.

• Stop Being Self Concious

When I was younger I had braces and stopped smiling at people because I was so self concious. I hated my braces and felt like I looked so much uglier with them on. So I rarely smiled unless someone said something funny or I couldn’t help it. If I did smile I covered my teeth. This was a huge mistake. No one cared if i had braces or not. They wanted me to show that I was happy to see them and a fun person.

Now I am in the habit of never smiling and still feel self concious when I smile even though I’ve had my braces off for about a year. I’m working on smiling more.

• Practice In The Mirror

To learn how to smile sincerely and not creepily practice in the mirror. Think of something happy and try to make your most attractive smile. Before long you will be smiling with more charisma and charm.

Related Links:

http://longevity.about.com/od/lifelongbeauty/tp/smiling.htm

If you are a teen, you probably go to High School. Many teenagers would love nothing more than being the most popular girl on campus. This is understandable. With popularity comes parties, boyfriends, and celebrity (on a small scale obviously).

I was never really popular honestly. It never interested me. The kids that went to my school were not people that i wanted to spend any time or effort trying to impress. However, I did spend four long years going to High School and have observed my peers. Here is my guide to becoming popular in High School.

1. Get your head in the game

Anyone can be popular. Really. It doesn’t matter what you look like, if you play sports, if you are rich. You can be popular. Let me repeat that: anyone can be popular. Look at the popular kids in your school. I’m sure many of them are attractive and athletically gifted. However, I am sure there will be a few that are average looking. Some may be downright fugly. So what makes these people more special than you? Absolutely nothing.

But to be honest, looks do matter in High School. Make the best out of what you got. This can be as easy as putting on some makeup and making sure your hair looks decent everyday. As for your clothes, I don’t reccomend going to the mall and buying expensive clothes to make you look like a carbon copy of the current ‘it girl’. Popular brands are fine in small doses. You need to stand out. Try to dress attractively but not exactly like all the other girls that want to be popular in your grade. You need to stand out. Pepper your look with small elements that assure the popular kids that you will fit in with them. Like maybe wearing your hair similar to the other girls. Or wearing your hair similar, but your  clothes are unique. If you are emo however, you might have to change your look unless you are trying to be popular among emo kids.  

If you are unattractive it is fine. However, you will need to compensate for it. This means you will have to have a big personality. You will have to be really funny, really nice, really whatever. There has to be a reason for them to keep you around.

2. Pick a group of popular kids

Think about your high school. Most schools have similar social structure. There are groups of students that are friends and are popular. Here are the most common ‘popular’ groups:

• Jocks: Athletic and social. Hereos of the school.
• Highly Social People: These people have no claim to fame other than they seem to know everyone, and everyone knows them.
• Smart Kids: These kids all bond over clubs, SAT classes, and their 4.0 GPAs. They are active in everything and everyone  knows them. They are not nerds however. Nerds do not have a high social status.

Think about which group you would fit into most easily. Maybe if you are a Nerd, the Smart Kids would be a good fit. If you are athletic, become a Jock. Highly Social People are probably your best bet however. Anyone can fit in this group and it does not require you have any particular characteristics.

3. Make A Friend In Your Chosen Group

Pick someone in your new group. It does not have to be the leader of the group. In fact, I would reccomend someone on the outer edge. They will be easier to become friends with. Think of someone that you are already friendly with in the group. This is your new best friend.

Talk to her at school. The first week have daily conversations about her. . After about a week friend her on Facebook and make a few comments.  Take it gradually, this is one of the slowest parts of the process. Don’t push the friendship if it isn’t going anywhere. There are plent of other low level popular people you can be friends with. No one likes to be pestered, so don’t be annoying.

4. Sit With Your New Friend At Lunch

After about two weeks, ask her if it would be ok if you sit with her at lunch. Say your usual table is full or something. When she accepts, sit by her. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY OF THIS WHOLE PROCESS! If you are too quiet or otherwise are not ‘cool’ you will undue all your hard work.

 If she is low rank, you will be sitting at the lower social status side of the table. This is good! Network! Talk to everyone, laugh, be merry! Become friends with all the lower level people of the group. This is the time where you need to be as charming as you can. This day is cruicial. You are making a first impression on the clique that will make you popular.

 Continue to sit at the table for the rest of the week. Stop asking after that first day. Just sit there. The second day people might be taken aback, but continue to sit there. Your old friends may be angry at you, but if you want to be popular you have to hang out with the popular kids. I wouldn’t reccomend cutting ties with your old friends altogether yet, but definately distance yourself.

At the end of the week, ask your new friend to do something on the weekend. If she is already doing something, like going to a party, ask if you can come! Use your judgement however on if you should invite yourself. Parties and small groups over three are fine. Anything other than that, just ask about another night. When you go out with her make sure it’s a fun time. It doesn’t matter if you just go to a movie or the mall, be conversational and fun to be around.

5. Expand

You have now laid the groundwork for popularity. Continue to sit at your new lunch table and make friends with all the lower level people of the group. Text them, go out with them, go to their parties. Once you have officially established yourself as a member of the group, work your way upwards. Become friends with the people closest to the Queen Bee. Stop associating yourself with your unpopular friends at least at school.

Don’t be a wannnabe. Don’t worship the higher level kids. Act like you are just as good as them and are already one of them.  The Queen Bee will probably be feeling threatened by you by now. This is good. You can begin to form friendships with the Queen Bee at this time, but make sure that her closest friends also like you.

Begin to talk to people of other popular cliques. Date a jock, study with a Smart Kid, etc. Begin to go to their parties. 

6. Do something big

Now is the time to drop the bomb. Do something that the school can’t ignore. Start a fight, break up dramatically in the hallways, have a great party, or be awesome in the talent show. Make sure it gets you noticed. It doesn’t neccesarily have to put you in a good light, but it shouldn’t tarnish your reputation too much. Just make sure that everyone will be talking about it for at least a day.

After you do this, lots of people should know your name. Use your 15 minutes of fame to spring into true popularity. Ask the most popular kids in your school to hang out and become real friends with them. Not just your new clique, but other popular cliques.

7. Secure Your New Social Status

Now that you are popular, you need to always be on your game. Look good everyday and say hi to all your new friends in the hallway. Go to parties regularily. Always sit with the popular kids at lunch. Date a high ranking boy. You know that you made it when you are voted Prom Queen or Homecoming Queen.Once you are on top it takes less effort to stay on top. Just watch out for other social climbers that want to take your place.

 Congradulations. You have changed yourself so that you are universally admired. Fabulous.

Popularity in High School is alot of work. It was never a goal of mine because I chose to be myself and not worry about what others thought of me, but for some teens this is a major goal. If you want to be popular, this is the method.

Related Links:

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Popular

http://www.wikihow.com/Become-the-Queen-Bee-of-Your-School

http://www.lightningshock.com/2008/04/25/how-to-become-popular-in-high-school/

Being young can be limiting. You can’t vote, you can’t drink, you can’t move out, you can’t stay out as late as you want. Can’t, can’t, can’t. There is a reason for this. Young people are generally stupid. Here are some major reasons:

1. Young People Dress Strangely

The way many teens dress makes it impossible to be taken seriously by adults.Whether you are Emo, Hip hop, Sporty, or decked out in head to toe Abercrombie and Fitch, adults just don’t get it. In adult world, adults wear nice clothes. Adults want to be successful.  Like teenagers, adults like to fit in with people they aspire to be. Unlike teenagers however, adults do not want to fit in with people that spend all their time playing video games and chugging energy drinks.

Adults want to be successful and successful adults wear suits generally. When you think of a rich, successful, businessman he is generally wearing a suit. I am not saying that the way to gain respect from adults as a teen is to wear a suit (although it certainly would not hurt) but to at least wear nice, conservative clothes that show you are respectable and someone that needs to be treated as an adult.

2. Teenagers Care About Things That Don’t Matter

We, as a rule are not concerned with things that are of any actual value to society. Teenage girls are  more concerned with who is dating who than the economy or global news. Adults care about these things deeply, because they really matter. When adults see that you are more concerned about who has fake Ugg boots than if our country is at war, it makes them take you less seriously.

If you start to do simple things everyday like watching the news, or reading a newspaper, when you talk to adults you will seem so much more competent and intelligent. Ask your parents what they think about politics. They will probably be impressed and will be more likely to give you more responsiblity.

3. Slang Sends A Bad Impression

Slang is a wonderful way for young people to express themselves. It is creative and interesting. It does not, however, make you look mature in the eyes of adults. If you are trying to get adults to take you seriously, drop the slang. It is fine to speak it with your friends, but with people that you are trying to impress, just drop it.

4. Your Posture Is Bad

Bad posture just sends a message to others that says: “I don’t value myself, and am too lazy to even hold my head up!” Good posture is a great way to call attention to yourself and look more mature. When an adult sees a slumped over teenager, they don’t think highly of them.

5. You Have No Experience

Young people are new to life, and therefore have no experience. You probably have never had a job, and if you had it probably involved a name tag. You have never lived on your own, paid your own bills,or bought a house. You have never had a long term relationship over five years. Teens really have never done anything that matters in life. That is why adults do not take you seriously. Because you know nothing.

The way to counteract this is to ask adults that are around you for their advice. This shows that although you may be young, you are smart and willing to learn.

5. You Don’t Appreciate Anything

Teenagers completely take for granted everything that their parents do for them. They buy you clothes, food, cable, etc. with money that they could have spent on something for them like a boat or vacation. They have spent the last 13+ years basically doing little else besides taking care of and supporting you. Teens are incredibly ungrateful for this and rarely, if ever thank their parents for all that they do for them.

You can see why adults may not take teenagers seriously. If you can work on these qualities that you may have you will find that adults will respond to you better. They will be more likely to take you seriously and treat you like an equal.